Five years ago, I was not living a satisfactory life. For starters, I had severe asthma and allergies; if I ate even a particle of a peanut, I would suffocate to death within 3 minutes. Professionally, my job in social work left me burnt out. Responsibility for nearly the entirety of my clients’ lives fell to me; I was on-call 24 hours a day. And to round out this trifecta of misery, I was heartbroken. My last relationship was one in which we were deemed “cake toppers”; our friends and family had predicted marriage. I had loved him and thought about marriage as well. So, even months after the break-up, I still couldn’t shake the hurt and betrayal I felt when I realized that his heart had always belonged to another.

And to top it all off, my Brooklyn apartment was infested with bed bugs. Needless to say, I found myself in a very dark place. I felt lost. 

Tired of feeling adrift, I decided to look inside my community for…more. In addition to being a social worker, I belonged to a huge community of musicians whom I had known and loved for nearly ten years. I had released a CD of songs that I’d written, sang and recorded on the ukulele, and I had toured Europe twice. As I wondered if there was more to life than what I’d been doing, I also started remembering my roots. I had been very spiritual as a child and as a teen. I grew up Catholic, and, like many people, had my own falling out with the Church, but was left with nowhere to go. Surely, I thought, there must be others like me—creative types who have a spiritual side but don’t know where to go.

I decided to ask around in my community. Do you ever think about things bigger than yourself? Do you ever wonder if there’s something larger than we are that connects us all? Have you ever thought about the Universe, or your own Spirit? The responses were like doors slammed in my face. No matter how I phrased the question, the answer was, “Nope. I don’t really think about it.”

I felt utterly alone. So I did what many people do who are lost and feeling alone…nothing. I continued to party with my friends, getting drunk on the weekend. And I continued to feel more empty and stressed as time went on.

Then one Friday night, I organized a Girls’ Night Out to see a band that wanted me to join as their keyboardist. The ladies with me that evening were my ex’s sister (yes, the same ex that I was still heartbroken over) and her heavy-drinking friends. We met at my house and “pre-gamed” (pre-gaming refers to having a few drinks before going out for the night). I loved my ex’s sister, but she reminded me so much of him. So I figured, why not drink a little extra while in their company? After all, I had to keep up!

A little tipsy from pre-gaming, we arrived at the venue. The band we came to see was playing in the basement, and as I walked down the stairs, I lost my footing. I reached for the railing, but there was just a curtain that did nothing to keep me from falling from the very top of the stairs, over the side, onto the concrete below. I landed on my head and bounced up like a rubber ball. Stunned and embarrassed, I told everyone I was ok, when clearly I was seriously injured. Even though I had just fallen directly onto my head, my concern was for others. I thought, “I don’t want to be that girl who fell on her head and ruined everybody’s night.” In retrospect, I see that my mixed-up thoughts, while mostly caused by the severe concussion I was suffering from, were also a reflection of my unhealthy mindset.

Eventually, I got up the courage to tell my ex’s sister and her friends that I really did need to go to the hospital. In the ER, they gave me a CAT scan, and the results would change my life forever. I did have a severe concussion; however, on the CAT scan, they “found something,” a small dark spot next to my brain stem. I would have to follow up with a neurosurgeon to find out more. My heart dropped, and my head filled with a million questions.

A few weeks later, the neurosurgeon patiently answered many of my questions. My MRI showed that the dark spot was actually a hole in my spinal cord. The prognosis was foggy at best: the hole could never bother me, it could kill me at any instant, or anything in between, like becoming a paraplegic. The only cure was to open my skull and graft bone from my hip to make more space in my skull for my brain. But even surgery offered no guarantees.

This was hardest thing I’ve had to hear in all my life. What if I moved my head the wrong way and all of a sudden lost use of my limbs or bladder function? What if it got worse, and I needed to have brain surgery?

We all have “what if’s” that can haunt our every waking moment, if we let them. We worry: What if my partner cheats on me? What if I lose my job? What if I get really sick and I don’t have any health insurance? Questions like these bring more fear, anxiety, and stress into our lives. Their negativity bring our hearts, minds, and immune systems down. These thoughts hurt us now and are the equivalent of always worrying that cars are going to drive onto the curb and hit you while you’re on the sidewalk. Does this happen to people sometimes? Yes. Do people lose their jobs, do partners cheat, and do people with holes in their spinal cord become paralyzed sometimes? Yes. But to think about those things now is to live in the fear-filled future, and this will only bring you pain.

After my diagnosis, I had to start a practice of becoming more present. I had to start telling myself, “In this moment, I am safe.” I had already reached my own rock bottom before being diagnosed with syringomyelia. But that diagnosis was the best thing that ever happened to me because it forced me to realize that I couldn’t be stagnant and paralyzed with fear anymore. My body reinforced this message loud and clear as I experienced searing pain resulting from the immense stress I underwent as I slowly shifted my life and dealt with my destructive thoughts and feelings. Still, I didn’t become a beautiful intuitive butterfly overnight. I began taking yoga, and I found a new community of loving people to support me in my spiritual explorations.

What opportunities does the Universe have for you now that you’re missing because your thoughts are fixated on the future? My hope is that you will awaken to these possibilities. I hope that the next time you start to worry “what if,” you’ll look around and see that you are indeed safe here and now.

Have you learned things about yourself from a tragic or scary situation? If so join the conversation as we support each other in the comments below.

The post The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me Was Falling On My Head appeared first on New York City Psychic.

On June 10th, 2011, I went on a first date with Bryan. I was living in Bed Stuy, Brooklyn at the time, and we met for tea in my neighborhood. We instantly connected and had a really great time. That evening, there was birthday party for my roommate happening at home, and since Bryan and I had hit it off, I decided to invite him over to the party. I texted my roommates, “OMG! He’s great. I’m bringing him home to meet you guys!”

My roommates liked Bryan as well, and many party guests assumed we’d been together for a long time because we were very comfortable with each other. This night led to a second date during which I asked Bryan if he was seeing anyone else. 

“Yes,” he said. “But we’re opening our relationship up to polyamory for the first time.”

As it turned out, I was seeing one other person, and we were also exploring the idea of dating more than one person at a time. But I had mixed feelings about Bryan’s situation. I was happy because it seemed like it could all work out, but Bryan was so thoughtful, smart, and passionate, I wanted him to myself. We went on to talk about our intentions. We both desired a relationship with each other that would build bonds within our hearts. I was excited about this prospect.

Bryan and I continued to see each other, and very quickly, we did develop a strong bond. But I started to notice a pattern: Every time I saw Bryan, he was reeling from some drama with the other woman he was seeing, and I calmed him down. Also, I brought positive concepts about loving communication to our relationship, and Bryan would apply them to his other relationship. That was fine for awhile; in fact, I was happy to help improve things for them because I’m a strong believer in “what goes around comes around.” Unfortunately, however…what I gave Bryan never came around.

I was reluctant to face the fact that I was not getting many benefits from my relationship with Bryan because his other partner was always in crisis. She was often jealous, controlling or experiencing some other issue, and inevitably it spilled into my time with Bryan. So I felt trapped. I found Bryan to be nearly perfect for me, but I wasn’t happy receiving the short end of the stick every time.

I took an honest assessment of this relationship. I agree with Marie Forleo when she says, “Men are ‘as-is’ goods.” But was my experience with Bryan a reflection of who he was fundamentally, or was it who he had become in his other relationship? How could I know for sure when I had only known him in the context of his other relationship? I also questioned if I truly wanted to date more than one person. Because my trust was growing and since I was developing a strong bond with Bryan despite the problems, I realized that I was ready for some “heavy lifting” relationally that could only be done with commitment. I was ready to go deeper and explore my fears in the context of a monogamous relationship, as well as relish the joy and fun times.

But what did Bryan want? Our relationship was premised on the understanding that we were going to see other people, but I was no longer satisfied with those terms. So I made the hard decision to let him go.

Bryan and I sat down at the end of August, and I explained that while I really enjoyed our time together, I wanted more and deeper, and that deeper for me in the context of a relationship required monogamy and commitment. I told him that I respected his decision with regard to polyamory and was not asking him to break up with the woman that he was seeing. I also took a big chance and told him I hoped we could remain friends but also keep our developing heart connection.

Over time, we did maintain a friendship, and I even hired him to do some social media work for me. This new dynamic reduced the drama he was bringing to me primarily because I kept good boundaries. When he was having trouble in his relationship, I encouraged him to talk with someone else about it.

By October, however, I felt depressed. Bryan and I were having so much fun as supportive friends that I wanted more. But his other relationship was still full of drama. This wasn’t the only reason for my depression, but having someone I loved like family so close yet so out of reach was definitely central to it. I was heartsick.

No one wants to hear, “If you love something enough to let it go, if it’s meant to be, it will come back” when they are suffering. Yet this is what brought me comfort. I told myself that if he was right for me he’d come back around, and if he wasn’t, then the Universe would send me the perfect match.

At the end of October, Bryan told me that he and the woman he was seeing had broken up. It went without saying that I hoped that we could be together, but I gave him space to deal with the break up. He needed that to heal, and I did not want to be a rebound.

Later, when I did broach the subject again, I saw that the “c” word–commitment–made him uncomfortable. I clarified that commitment did not mean I needed to know his every move or be in constant contact. But I did seek emotional and physical intimacy with the possibility of a long-term relationship. And in fairness to my new partner, I couldn’t be in love with my best friend. This meant that if Bryan and I could not have a committed relationship, we could no longer be friends.

We agreed to take some time apart to process. The waiting was difficult, but I knew it was for the best. In the end, Bryan told me, with tears in his eyes, “The two most important things in my life right now are music and Betsy Cohen.”

Since that time, we have been in a healthy, committed relationship. We have our ups and downs, but we are learning more about ourselves and each other, daily. Even now when I find myself frustrated with Bryan or our relationship, I return to thoughts of letting go and how the Universe will provide. When I remind myself that I do love him unconditionally and am willing to let go if it’s not working, things shift suddenly. The anxiety-ridden air clears, and I feel lighter. I’m more loving and free, and Bryan and I are brought further along the path we are walking together.

The Universe wants us to be happy. Have you ever had to express your feelings and boundaries in order to find happiness in a relationship? Were you willing to let go if your feelings and boundaries weren’t honored? Have you ever held on to a relationship that did not suit you? I would love to hear your stories.

The post Letting Go, Finding Love appeared first on New York City Psychic.

From the head to the heart

My 10 years in social work provided me many experiences working with relationships. As we move into new energies on this planet we are moving from the head to the heart. We are no longer practicing things that make sense with logical reasoning alone, we are doing logical things (from the head) that feel good (from the heart). The heart energies allow for people to value one another and see each other’s full potential, but if you are only acting from the heart and not trusting your gut you could wind up in a lot of trouble. This is why it is important to set good boundaries.

Trust your gut

Tuning into your gut – aka trusting your intuition – (see Stop Drop & Roll for a full tutorial) allows you to know when someone has done something that makes you feel bad and is not ok. Learning how to understand the signals your body is giving you is preliminary work to improved boundaries. Your body will always tell you when a boundary is being crossed. Feelings of hurt, anger, and anxiety are signals that something is wrong which may indicate that someone has crossed a boundary.

Improve your life

I’ve found that when you improve your relationships through better boundaries, your life will change for the better. You may be able to move though blocks that had formerly kept you away from your full potential. By improving the quality of your relationships, you lower stress and increase your happiness, energy, self-esteem and health.

So now I offer to you, the new and revised version of Seven Steps to Better Boundaries.

A Review of the Seven Steps to Better Boundaries

1. Get educated and listen to your body.
2. Take time to learn what your boundaries are and which boundaries are being crossed.
3. Practice your script by writing or talking with a friend.
4. Take a deep breath and dive right in.
5. Listen to the other person, but don’t budge.
6. Hold to your new standard and tailor your reaction to the situation.
7. Be kind to yourself always and distance yourself from people who continue to push your boundaries.

The post Improving Relationships with Seven Steps to Better Boundaries appeared first on New York City Psychic.

What if I told you that in 14 minutes you could become more psychic?

Many people come to me and ask if they are psychic, and the answer is always a big, awesome “YES!”. Everyone has the ability to do what I do, but it takes awareness, education, and lots of practice.

“Practice?!” you say?

Yes. Whenever you’re in need of an answer, practice these three steps:

1. Stop (what you’re doing)
2. Drop (into your gut)
3. Roll (with the feeling)

No, you won’t be on fire, but these three steps may fire up your intuition!

Listen to the podcast below for more of how and why:

The post Stop, Drop, and Roll to Become More Psychic and Intuitive appeared first on New York City Psychic.

Recently, I was asked by Motherboard TV (Vice Magazine) to channel the spirit of Steve Jobs, the Founder of Apple. During the 60-minute reading, Steve gave us insight into a number of topics including how to better our lives through cooperation, as well as touching on the future of Apple.

As mentioned in recent articles by CBS Seattle and Time Magazine’s NewsFeed, I did, in fact, have a difficult time leading up to this reading. As I began to connect with Steve’s spirit, I encountered a very dense energy which was much more critical than the spirits I commonly encounter. I was already aware of the importance of clearing and protecting one’s energy, but this assignment really drove that message home.

I chose to make a video about this topic because it seems that everyone could be doing this more often. Could you use a little more happiness, health and abundance in your life? Well, clearing and protecting your energy can help you with all of this and more! In the video I discuss just how important it is to be aware of your own emotions. If you are not checking in with your own emotional state on a regular basis, you run into the danger of taking on everyone else’s negative emotions without even knowing it.

Picture yourself jumping into a swimming pool and suddenly you are filled with all of the feelings (negative, and positive) that everyone in the pool is feeling. This is what our emotional landscape can feel like if we are not clearing and protecting our energy on a regular basis.

Try it out for yourself. If you have found that it works, please share your success here on the blog. Sharing your positive experience can give others insight, hope, and motivation to succeed.

The post What I Learned from Channeling Steve Jobs: How to Clear and Protect Your Energy appeared first on New York City Psychic.

If you listen long enough to any spiritual teacher you will eventually hear them talk about awareness. Take, for instance, the response the Dalai Lama gave when asked what surprised him most about humanity.

He is speaking about peoples’ lack of awareness of their surroundings. As the saying goes, “you can’t find what you’re not looking for”.

What are you looking for?

• Are you looking out for people who may hurt you? Or are you looking for the beautiful sunset?
• Are you counting calories to not gain weight? Or are you enjoying every bite?

What you concentrate on grows and you always find what you are looking for… always.

Becoming aware and awake can be a lifelong process. I invite you to view the video below to see just how easy the process of becoming aware can be once you consciously choose what you are looking for.

The post Awareness: A New Way of Thinking appeared first on New York City Psychic.

“The notion of sympathy and empathy – you don’t really need so much of that.”

Did that really come out of my mouth?! Yes indeed it did! And this feeling of “Oh gosh! What did I say now?” has been a repeated theme in my readings and teachings over the last couple of weeks.

The reason why I am asking you to take a look at how empathy and sympathy impact your life is because most often when you are empathic to someone who is not happy you are bringing your energy down to match theirs. However, it should be noted as they say in the Bible or the Byrds song “Turn! Turn! Turn!” there is a time for everything:

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

But notice how it doesn’t say: When someone else is sad, be sad. When someone else is angry, be angry. When someone else is feeling upset, feel upset.

What I’m saying is sometimes it can be helpful to stay in your original emotional state in order to stay healthy and to help others!

Watch the video to find out exactly what I mean!

The post I gave Nite Jewel a psychic reading for Vice! appeared first on New York City Psychic.

Every Thursday, I hold an intuitive development circle at a private location in Brooklyn. I deliver psychic and medium messages, and help sitters tap into their own intuition to deliver messages of their own.

All are welcome to attend, just RSVP by phone or email. The circles tend to fill up, so be sure to reach out in advance to secure a spot.

Below is an interview from the blog Brooklyn Based. By Julie Strickland

The post Weekly Williamsburg Spirit Seance appeared first on New York City Psychic.

A pattern has emerged in my readings recently. The pattern is that of needing more persistence and consistency, especially when it comes to manifesting ones dreams. I bring this up now because I want to tell you it took me 3 years to manifest this gig- partnering with Vice magazine/Noisey to give readings to musicians.

It was my 3rd year going down to the South By South West (SXSW) music festival in Austin TX. The 1st two years I had a strong desire to provide psychic medium readings and spiritual guidance to musicians for the purpose of improving their lives and thereby their performances. But when it did not happen the first 2 years I went to SXSW I did not give up. When was the last time you kept a dream alive for 3 years consistently?

This year I decided that I would not be going down to SXSW unless I was working and I did everything I could to make it happen. I was already in talks with Vice magazine about doing readings for rock stars when it hit me! Tell them I’ll already be down there and so will they (with cameras, a film crew, and all access back stage passes). It took determination, consistence, persistence, and a lot of guts to just plainly say to Vice, I’ll be down there at your disposal, just hook me up with the camera and the musician and we will have something great on our hands. In addition, Vice took a leap working with me. They had never done something like this before and since I had never worked with them before they were taking a big chance.

I even took a leap of faith. Without having the gigs in SXSW confirmed I booked a ticket. Within 1 week of booking my ticket, Vice called and said we have some people we want to film you giving readings to. I was more than thrilled! How do you think you would feel if a dream of yours came true after 3 years?!

Andrew WK is a very interesting and unusual character. People who are unfamiliar with his music/work raise their eyebrows when they find out he is a party anthem head banging rocker, in addition to a motivational speaker.

Reading for him made me feel good. I like to help the helpers. By giving Andrew WK a reading, which lasted about 45 min., I am also assisting all of the people he helps though his music and motivational speaking. And to top it all off, everyone gets a 3 min. taste of the reading, exposing what actually happens in a reading, de-mystifying it and generally raising awareness of what a psychic medium reading is like!

I was very happy with the results. The video has a great sense of humor while still holding a great respect for both what Andrew WK does as well as what I do. Take a look and see for yourself!

Check out the article and video on Noisey’s official page here:

http://www.noisey.com/blog/we-gave-andrew-wk-a-psychic-reading

The post I gave Andrew WK a psychic reading for Vice! appeared first on New York City Psychic.