Welcome back all to my podcast, How to Trust Your Intuition. For those of you who don’t know, I’m Betsy LeFae, the best psychic in New York and I am happy you are here! Thanks for stopping by.

Imagine that you have a podcast where you regularly interview people. And one day, mid-interview, you suddenly realize you may be talking to a cult leader – not just any cult leader, but one who has caused significant harm to many people in your life.

Now, at this point you, dear reader, you might be thinking: “This sounds like an impossible situation Betsy! No one would NOT KNOW they were talking to a dangerous cult leader, especially if this so-called cult leader was responsible for so much harm to people you actually care for.”

Either way, if you can, or cannot imagine such a thing happening, I just invite you to watch this week’s episode of How to Trust Your Intuition the podcast. Because that’s EXACTLY that happened.

One day, I’ll be able to put into words how this whole thing felt. But what I CAN tell you now is, like the title of this episode says, the conversation I had with Robert Kendall (co-founder of One Taste/Orgasmic Meditation) was healing. Yup, you read that right…it was healing. And I bet if you watch until the end you, will be able to tell ME why.

Betsy LeFae, best psychic in New York, signing off for now. Remember to leave your comments below…this is a wild one!

TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to how to trust your intuition the podcast the place where we learn that trust is earned and not given even
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with ourselves I’m your host Betsy LeFae, the best New York City psychic. I’m a social worker turned award-winning psychic
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medium turned intuition teacher and my school trust yourself intuition School celebrated its 10th anniversary
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in 2023. join us each episode as we interview thought leaders and luminaries in every genre
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they talk about how and when they learn to trust their intuition most say they’re still learning what happens when they do trust it and
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what happens when they don’t stick around as we all walk together down the road towards trusting our
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intuition welcome back to another episode of how
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to trust your intuition so happy to be back here today is interview really blew my mind let me
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just give you a little bit of backstory when I started to invite people to the
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show that I did not know at all or did not know very well at first I became really obsessed with
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making sure that my values aligned with theirs I have very specific views on a
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lot of different things that may not be popular or aligned with other people
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and I was overprotective in a way that is normal coming from the trauma that I
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have in my life and what usually happens is if somebody heals from said trauma then their
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boundaries tend to relax a little bit not like they have lacks boundaries but they realize a middle ground they don’t
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go from Total extremes No Boundaries all boundaried up um there’s more of a fluidity
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and that’s really what’s happened to me I realized shortly after I was obsessively researching everyone before
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I invited them to be on the show but yeah the universe did have my back and that if I interviewed someone on my show
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and we found out some unsavory information about them later that it was just an interview that I didn’t really
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need to obsess about the safety of the situation and the universe would guide me so when it came to this last round of
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podcast invites I was inviting people that I had never met before and I invited Robert Kendall onto the
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show I really did not know who he was I know he had his own podcasts I knew that he was a coach and that we ran in some
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of the same entrepreneurial circles I was excited to have him on the show and you’ll hear through this interview
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how he answers all three questions right how did he trust him learn to trust his intuition what happens when he does what happens when he doesn’t
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and he never mentioned the primary thing that most people know him for so
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some of you listening right now know exactly who he is by hearing his name Robert Kendall some are probably like me
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like I don’t know who that is some of you might think he sounds familiar so the people who do know who he is
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if you have been negatively impacted by his work then I encourage you to listen because
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there is a personal healing for me that happens after the official interview is
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over so when I tape these things there’s an intro that doesn’t make it into the show and when we’re done with the
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interview the recording still keeps going but we keep chatting and for this episode Robert has given me permission
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to include our conversation that we had after the official podcast was over and that is where he personally apologized
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to me for any harm that his past actions may have caused for people who don’t know who he is you
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might be like what the heck did this guy do we talk about what he does
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um or we talk about what he did after the interview is over and
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I think if you can I encourage you to not Google his name right away stick
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with us and learn in the flowing way that I did I am going to say for people who do or
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do not know him that on this show before I’ve talked about cults how I was raised in a cult and uh taken advantage of and
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abused by Cults and he was involved a co-founder in one of these damaging
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communities and you’ll hear after the interview is over exactly how I was affected and why this created a personal
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healing for me so thank you so much for being here this is
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a very impactful show and I thank you for listening welcome Robert hello I was glad I’m really happy to be here yeah me
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too so um we met through a very special group of entrepreneurs and I’d love for you to let the audience know a little
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bit about you so they know who you are I’ve had a fascinating career the way I like to tell my story I was normal until
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I was 28 I’m 52 now so I guess it’s it’s been quite a while of the unnormal I went to Burning Man and and when I was
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28 in 1998 and my whole life just kind of Etch A Sketch from from that moment I
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went from pretty straight vanilla following the American dream to going off to that into a off that beaten path
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to a more specific I started a company about relationships and intimacy and sexuality in 2004 did that for 10 years
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uh then started my own consulting firm in 2014 with two kind of sides one was the
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fractional CFO business helping small businesses especially women-run businesses on the kind of the support
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and finance side and then also had this thought leader personality which we play I met at ual at I’ve written a book
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called unhidden a book for men and those confused by them had a podcast for five years do private coaching and
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um yeah that’s kind of who I am that’s great I have some questions for you just about what you said I’ll sort of work my
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way backwards um so first of all I find it interesting um I’m sort of in this group of people
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too but I’ve I’ve sort of fallen into high level entrepreneurs that have
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like parallel sort of paths to yours um maybe not just starting off as normal but sort of starting off as
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um coaching other people on intimacy sexuality which I’ve done as well and you know sort of coming out of that and
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then not that it’s better or anything but moving higher up in business sort of more big picture and the Consulting as
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you said the the fractional c f what is it fractional CFO efo yes um I’m a little dyslexic to some of
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those um and it’s it’s really fascinating to me um it feels to me as though there’s so
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much learning it’s almost like a base learning of Entrepreneurship in people and they can sort of take it to another level with more expertise and we just
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wind up seeing our unique skills and offering them in a bigger way would you say that sort of like fits your path
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yes I the fractional CFO was supposed to fund the thought leader
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it’s kind of steady and I was able to help small businesses and then I realized that the thought leader
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business was a little egoic and not quite my path it was almost like an itch I had a scratch
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dumb thing and what I truly love is helping small businesses because Tony Robbins has this great distinction
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there’s three people needed for every business there’s the Visionary artist there’s the manager and there’s the
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entrepreneur the Visionary artist is you know really the Creator the magic the force of the
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business the the idea person um which is great you need that to start a business but those people are pretty
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horrible usually at running all the back end parts of the business all the taxes and finances and payroll and all the
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interests of you know the back end of the business and so I just found myself uh just really with those skills and
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enjoying being the man behind the curtain helping the Visionary artists do what they do and just to finish it up the entrepreneur is defined by Tony
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Robbins as the one to really promote the business they’re the networker they’re the marketer and so his Viewpoint is you
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need all three to really have a business get to the next level one person can do all three but to get to the next level
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of magic and exposure you do need all three or that one person is too taxed to bring it to the next level thank you for
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sharing that that actually uh helps me out with some of the things I’ve been thinking about I wind up coaching and
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teaching it just sort of happens um people who might be on the normal path and then want to start their own
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business usually sort of spiritually oriented and um they are the Visionary and they do
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not realize the other two parts yes of this and um you know I try not to have
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like sort of pet peeves but you know we we all have things that Annoy Us sure and um there’s a friend of mine who I
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you know really appreciate who uh is an author of a really amazing book we need the knowledge in the world
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um and he he usually says things like well I hope the book gets out there or I just don’t feel right about you know
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really pushing it for money and and you know luckily last time we hung out it just sort of fell in my lap and I could
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just sort of gracefully be like hey you know the way I see it is if I don’t get
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my message out there if the people don’t find mine particularly my intuition school then I haven’t done my job
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I really feel that way and it you know I could I could um sometimes I do have a team in fact um I had this amazing assistant for four
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and a half years and it was a dream because there would be just certain parts of the business especially the
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manager part and that would either you know turn me into a rage or make me fall asleep or both and she just like that’s
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what I love doing which is what you’re describing it’s like give me that I love doing that and just the message that
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there are people who prefer to support um and not be in the front that’s great I have I have two other questions about
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about your bio as it were your intro one is um the I I personally understand this
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but I’d love to hear you speak about it moving from sort of the intimacy coaching and understanding men and
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understanding women to supporting particularly women-owned
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business can you talk about that I mean as a man you know okay now my mission is mainly supporting women-owned businesses
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can you tell me about that well there’s it’s a you have a whole podcast on that topic alone I’m sure um
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you know there’s so many changing Dynamics in our society and really in the last 50 years in terms of you know
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relationships of men and women you look at the status quo of let’s say the 1970s to the status quo of
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2023 and it’s very skewed it’s very different especially women’s role in society women entrepreneurs in 1970s is
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in doesn’t exist you know they’re made I’m sure there were some I’m not saying you know but very rare I mean women couldn’t even get business credit cards
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without a man’s co-signature in the 1970s and I think until the 1980s either I think we need a demand to
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purchase land yeah Atlanta house I don’t know that specific thing but that sounds about right from my research um so here we are in 2023 and
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predominantly you know more and more women entrepreneurs I’m not saying it’s equal at this point but you just see the exponential rise and percentages from
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the CEO boardroom from zero to I think there was 13 or 14 in the in the you know the top 500
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Etc et cetera there’s a multiple change now underneath that you know a woman who wants to connect to her uh feminine side
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which I’m not saying is mandatory I’m saying this is a woman who wants to run a business which does require masculine
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skills and I can describe masculine feminine if you want but a person a woman or a person who identifies as a
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woman needs to be in touch with both her masculine and and her feminine and that changes and what a lot of women
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in the workplace are seeing is that they’re having to disconnect to the feminine to exist in the man’s world and
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so for me as someone who speaks both uh Manny’s and and women’s or masculine and feminine the ability to translate and to
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discuss and to encourage to find that balance both in the role of CEO but also in their personal life is uh it’s been a
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really thrilling thing for me to do and I think really important because I do think I’ll say the last thing here is I think we need a lot more feminine
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in the business world I think there’s a lot of masculine dominated controlling uh and the toxic side of masculine in
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the business I think the marriage of the two is really important well I definitely agree we could do
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multiple episodes on this and um I think you did a great job explaining I don’t think we really need to get into all of
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that but what I will say is when I was doing the intimacy coaching I mean that’s basically what I was focusing on
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my sort of tagline was if you’re successful in business but not in relationships are you really successful
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and it was sort of leaning towards women who were you know not paying attention to
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suppressing whatever their feminine side and just being as manly as possible and I think you know even though my
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assistant was identified as female were both queer um you know that you know as you
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mentioned like the the taxes and all the behind the scenes stuff that is more of what she would do and that allowed me literally like I would be like oh I can
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relax like I can be in my body so yeah I’ve definitely experienced that firsthand and helped with that as well
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so one more question about what you shared um and again we’ll probably do multiple episodes on this but um what basically
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two questions what brought you to Burning Man for the first time and then um and a shorter summary like what was
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it that sort of broke you open from normal to not normal uh my first wife Carol was the one who
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got me to Burning Man this was in 1998. so Burning Man was not as big a part of our culture nothing is a huge
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part of our culture but it was definitely not well as known it was sort of a San Francisco Fringe we happened to be in San Francisco she went to massage
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school she said do you want to go to burning man I said absolutely not it’s only for those you know other people the
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hippies and the doulas and the massage therapists and she’s like please and I was like okay and then ended up in
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burning man going and actually finding a different part of myself a huge part of myself really connected to my sexuality
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and my relationship to my wife and my honesty and all these things happened on a walk at Burning Man where really just
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this whole other side was able to come out and actually be seen and have a conversation so that was 1998 so my
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whole you know it’s it’s been quite the journey since then and you know who I was walking into that Burning Man is very different from the man I am today
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that’s really cool I went to bring him in once um and you know since it was my first time and whatever it wasn’t um
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as amazing as a lot of people say I’m also just like not a desert person so that was difficult but I did see one
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talk by this super power woman um in business and that definitely changed my life just her enthusiasm and
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you know as I think about it she might have been the person that solidified
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um it’s great for me to make things that help people but if we don’t get those other roles in place whether it be mine
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by me or someone else then I’m then I’m not actually I’m actually doing my job right
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um awesome okay well let’s let’s get into some questions here um can you tell us about how or when or
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your continuing practice of learning to trust your intuition it really had to start with that Burning
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Man trip that’s cool oh yeah exactly on some level because I was you know raised
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a New York Jew and so all the rules and Concepts and ideas about that uh you’ve saved 2x if you wanted to spend 1X on
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something pleasurable or you know something non non-necessity uh everything was about status and position
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um I was you know told from a very young age that would not be successful unless I produced male Prodigy
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um in progeny to carry on the family name so there was a very you know strict rules and so everything was very logic
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based in my life and I was successful as a logic based person I had a house in San Francisco I had married a
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fascinating and beautiful woman I had 401k and all those things but there was this whole other part of me that was
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vacant and at 28 I was overweight disillusioned and lost all the
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enthusiasm I had as a young man because I was so fit into that Corporal world then went to Burning Man everything got
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etch a sketched and all the rules that I thought were true how to be re-examined then I got involved in sensuality work
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which enabled me to feel feel period uh and mystical things that happened in the practices that I did to
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break down my ego and my my thought processes and now here I am 20 you know 22 years later from those experiences 24
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years later and I rely on my intuition as much if not more than my intellectual
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Pursuits now it’s a balance and if we if we want to equate the intuition to the feminine I think it’s not quite a
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one-on-one match but just to you know use that as a form my feminine shows me things that my masculine can’t see and
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my masculine holds the container things my feminine can’t see and so I have to hold both in equal value and tell them
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to talk to each other and relate when the information comes in from the feminine huh that person’s not treating you well but wait they’re paying this
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bill blah blah blah and then all of a sudden there’s a that’s a perfect example okay go ahead there’s a dialogue
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there that enables me to make better decisions that’s amazing that’s really really great
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I love the way that you explained that um okay so then let’s talk about a time
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perhaps when your intuition was telling you something uh and maybe you ignored it and what happened
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I was involved for 10 years with a company um I worked with a very powerful woman
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who you know I say publicly provided the most gifts in me with me in my life
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definitely gave me the most gifts and also caused the most trauma you know cause the most PTSD and the Paradox of
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that the Paradox of being someone so exciting not as a romantic partner but as a business partner so exciting so
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empowering so you know expansive at the cost of my own personal uh well-being
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and so I was you know really with that person for really 12 years when I think about it at year uh 10 I started having
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an inkling that something was off and I ignored it I remember just being like that it can’t be right but year 11 when I started to have some physical
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responses uh basically an ulcer starting to form an acid reflux and you know throwing up and all those you know
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negative things that I started to examine that that intuition that I had ignored really what it came down to and
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I had intuitive skills I just chose to ignore it at that point and so from that you know year 11 I started to plan my
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escape and I left a year later from that experience and again so grateful for those 12 years for all the gifts so
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questioning of those 12 years because of the PTSD and really the Paradox of that experience uh that is
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a very powerful story um it’s something that I feel like I feel
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like in general in our culture we have started to open Pandora’s Box
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the Box specifically being very powerful leaders
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who are magnetic and um
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really do shift our lives in powerful ways and empowering ways but you know
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there’s no real percentage but also 50 are causing damage are controlling and
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have these long-lasting effects um I definitely have had many of those
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and you know you said it yourself but for anyone else who’s kind of going through this
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um it is there’s in the original Cinderella Story the original Cinderella Story won’t go through the whole thing
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but there’s a point where she’s in the woods and she meets this powerful kind of gruesome looking Witch she’s um Baba
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Yaga she’s part of nature she’s not negative she’s not positive she’s just a force and in order for Cinderella to get
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back home she has these three tasks she needs to do and really it’s a prescription for how to trust your
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intuition and one of them is there’s this gigantic pile of poppy seeds and
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dirt together and Cinderella’s uh task is to separate the poppy seeds from the dirt
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and I feel like that is what this dissecting the past is is like was this
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trauma bonding or abuse was this an actual practice that is helpful maybe it
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was both maybe I have to turn it around um and it’s definitely an initiation to
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really trusting our intuition so thank you for sharing that story it’s a very powerful
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all right so how about a time when you did trust your intuition perhaps despite
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strong logic and what happened as a result hmm
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you’re all ready for your vacation it’s really hectic getting here but you’re seated in your airplane seat
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looking out the window and you hear the pilot come on the intercom good day everyone it’s a beautiful day outside 71
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and sunny as you’re aware to get to where we’re going we need to fly over that mountain range and sometimes there can be a
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little bit of turbulence about 80 sure will get there safely so buckle up relax and enjoy your flight
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I know that sounds like an absurd situation but when I put this in context of trusting yourself and trusting your intuition and I ask people on a scale of
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one to ten ten being the most how much do you trust yourself eight is a very high score when asking
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people so if you fall on a two to four range you’re totally not alone
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now picture this other scenario you’re out to lunch with a friend and the friend says that they’ve been having a really difficult time learning French
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you ask The Logical question are you taking a class and their answer is well I’m taking Spanish
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guess what if you want to trust yourself deeply if you want to
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have an easier time making decisions breakthrough blocks connect with people know who to connect
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with when there’s a class for that I’ve actually helped thousands of people truly trust
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themselves in uncertainty in times of Doubt or fear shame or guilt
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and I have a free Master Class called intuition 101 how to trust yourself in uncertain times
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that will tell you everything you need to know in order to learn to trust yourself the link is in the show notes however
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you can also go to how to trust your intuition.com all spelled out
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all right so how about a time when you did trust your intuition perhaps despite
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strong logic and what happened as a result um
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I think that there’s been many many cases of that perspective um
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I remember a client who came to me with a lot of trauma
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and a lot of money and a lot of offerings of you know really income for me
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and it was attractive and my ego said take the take the gig take the take on the role
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and um just you know do it you can do it and there was a little voice inside of my head said this is outside your range you
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just don’t have the time energy and expertise to really be of service to this person
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and you could actually cause more harm because your particular coaching technique
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isn’t is detrimental to this person so I’m I’m knocking down you know on some level of six figure gig
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from knowing that this was uh just not a good case for me and so what I did is I I went I had working with a somatic
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therapist um in Los Angeles at the time and I talked to him about it of course not using any names but um you know talk to
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him about it and said you’re right it sounds like you’re outside during he was a very straight shooter outside your range why don’t you hook them up with
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this type of therapy and what I did is I went back to the person and said listen I don’t want you to feel abandoned but I don’t think I have the skills for you
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why don’t you go to this modality that my professional therapist said then he went and um I you know stay in touch
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with another six or eight months but he says it was helping and just that moment of just like that little voice that was very quiet
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compared to the very loud egoic voices uh I’m grateful for because I know um I might have really hurt another
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person and I Do no harm belief system that would have been horrible and also the time and energy it would have sucked
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up so anyway with those little moments of time oh yeah well intuition will never not be subtle or if it’s not
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subtle you really don’t want to be in that situation like getting an ulcer or getting in a crash or something like that you don’t want it to be
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that example that you gave is really great in terms of as I mentioned the
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people that I help again it’s not like something I like advertise it just winds up happening that either are opening or
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uh wanting to open up their own spiritual business it’s not always spiritual but you know I think your
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perspective of can I really give this person like what they need and what I give is it fully
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aligned because you know there was a lot of it that was but you know there’s that but
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the people that that’s like a really big step a lot of people don’t want to say no And they also
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have that almost like codependent need to not quote abandon the person as you said
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when I started I mean it’s still my process today of doing readings 15 years ago you know it’s still the same anyone
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any Rando on the internet can book with me at any time there’s no screening process as far as that’s concerned but
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what I do every single time is Once they show up on my calendar I just quickly feel into their energy and my primary
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question is um that question do we match up is what I’m going to give going to match up with
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what not only they need but also what they want and uh over 10 years because it kept
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shifting I developed a draft to gently redirect people
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um and you know you know those weird um sort of caveats of of how to go through a procedure and you’re like don’t eat
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31 minutes, 59 seconds
donuts and coffee on the podcast you’re like I would never do that but obviously that happened at some point someone showed up crunching on it and that’s
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that’s what would happen it was just like I’m not saying anything negative in your energy and therefore you know
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um that was I’ve had people who even got upset by Me Gently graciously turning them away but literally also 10 years
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after the fact I’ve ran into these people and they’d be like you denied me a reading 10 years ago I have the email
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and then they they were like I was upset at the time but now I realize that I wasn’t ready
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[Music]
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um so I love that and also you happen to know somebody who could help you figure out who to send them to
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that’s that’s beautiful that’s always that’s always available in intuition when you
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come up with a problem you know maybe you’re solving something but it creates another problem there’s always a
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solution available and or it’s none of your business to find the solution right right right um but that’s that’s that’s very true that’s absolutely great thank you for
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for sharing all of that sure um is there anything that you would like
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to promote or you know you’re fractioned out already as a CFO but if you’re if you have another fraction who you serve
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33 minutes, 26 seconds
whatever it is you’d like to share with people um I you know I wrote this book on hidden a book for men and those confused
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by them uh it’s something I’m you know very proud of um it took a year it went through 10 revisions it went from 80 000 words to I
33:43
33 minutes, 43 seconds
think it’s about 40 40 000 words uh it’s just something I really written and it’s it’s something for men who are feeling
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33 minutes, 50 seconds
lost in this crazy 21st century and and partners to men who want to understand really the psyche I think men are really
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33 minutes, 58 seconds
misunderstood in uh today’s world so uh it’s on Amazon uh you can always go to my website robertcandell.com and find it
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uh that’s probably the the best thing out there I’m always talking to clients about my fractional CFO work so again
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robertcandell.com there’s a contact form you can fill out if you’re looking for help of your business I also have other associates that I can refer you to or
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other business you know if I’m happy to chat and do a free consultation at any time uh but yeah there’s two things uh
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34 minutes, 31 seconds
the book and the CFO Services that’s great well I’ll put those links down in the show notes when I graduated with a
34:37
34 minutes, 37 seconds
BA in psychology in 2002 attachment work was only applied to children
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now in 2023 it seems to be all the rage for a reason because knowing your attachment type
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34 minutes, 52 seconds
there are three main types avoidant anxious and secure really changes your life
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35 minutes
and if you listen to the podcast where I talked about how I lost a hundred thousand dollars from a spiritual quote
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35 minutes, 9 seconds
unquote spiritual coach the silver aligning to that experience was me discovering the root of a lot of my
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35 minutes, 16 seconds
issues I was anxiously attached an anxious attachment at the very end of that terrible
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terrible situation yes it was traumatic I came across Maya Diamond’s work
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and it was working through her program that literally rewired my brain
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from anxious to secure this is how I made it through all of my major transitions over the past two
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35 minutes, 45 seconds
years and discovered so much about myself now if you don’t know about attachment work don’t don’t feel bad
35:54
35 minutes, 54 seconds
here’s a typical situation in fact the most common situation that happens with these attachment styles
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person a and person B are in a relationship they care about one another person a reaches out to person B doesn’t hear back right away
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so then maybe sends another text or another gesture which further pushes person B away
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those people get resentful and eventually they might break up
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36 minutes, 27 seconds
I was in that situation more often than I’d like to remember I married the wrong person I had toxic
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36 minutes, 35 seconds
family relationships and had no idea until I took Maya’s program so
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36 minutes, 42 seconds
the link for a free consultation is in the show notes and I’m so happy to offer
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36 minutes, 49 seconds
all the podcast listeners if you sign up for a program you will get a free session worth five
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36 minutes, 57 seconds
hundred dollars with Maya Diamond herself one-on-one that’s just for how to trust your intuition podcast listeners
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37 minutes, 5 seconds
all right I’m just popping in real quick to let you know this is the part where the official interview is over and we continue our conversation I did beep out
37:15
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the name of our mutual friend but I refrained from asking her specifically because she’s a new baby and she’s got
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a toddler and a baby speaking of trusting your intuition so I stopped I mean the recording’s still going yeah speaking of trusting your
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37 minutes, 31 seconds
intuition as soon as you said in your very opening of your path you’re
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37 minutes, 39 seconds
like oh and I I went to this thing I don’t even know what you said you didn’t even say like you joined the community or whatever but you’re like I studied
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and I opened up like you know and I was like and I wanted to ask you a question I was like I was like no I’m not gonna I was
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like no it doesn’t feel right to ask now then when I was asking the questions I was like I’m gonna ask this question see in falling but I was like nope not gonna
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ask it and then when you shared your answer to you know with your ulcer and the 12-year relationship I was like yeah
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I know who he’s talking about I think you know I’m gonna tell you but um and I was like I’m so glad I didn’t
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ask because the way you share the story you did not give any tells away to the General Public
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38 minutes, 27 seconds
and uh you did that for a purpose and had I asked the question you know I’m not sure you would have been uncomfortable we could have cut it out
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or whatever but the question I wanted to ask from the very beginning were you ever involved in the OM Community I was
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a co-founder of the elm Community see I didn’t know that I had no idea um and yeah so as soon as you were like
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you were like oh the 11 12 I was like oh I actually even it was at that moment when you mentioned those numbers like oh I actually even know who you are now
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because I know there was a person in that role you know like so um and that’s it’s amazing
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um it’s I didn’t I also didn’t want to bring it up because it is a gigantic can of worms
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and I’ve had so my experience with them um if you don’t mind if we talk about this do you know that’s great to be
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honest to be honest it’s like this is something that on a personal level I’ve wanted to talk to someone about because
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because we’re all unpacking right yeah so um if you don’t if you’re uncomfortable with any of this I’m totally comfortable
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I have no problem with it yeah I’m an open book too yeah so I was in New York and
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um I was it was growing um and I’ve heard about it whatever then
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I had a friend down in Austin Texas okay who became I don’t know if you would ever have known her or not but she
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became one of The Darlings but also one of the Darlings because she’s she’s a very bright light
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um and she just was willing to do everything all of the time for free and be so excited that she was chosen to do
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it and so you know she she became this you know part of the Texas uh group and she kept saying I was I was with a guy
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at the time for a long time she kept saying you guys should do home you guys should do Omen um I this is so I’ve been involved in
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Cults I definitely call that a cult throughout my life it was raised and occult all these things um so this is like something that I
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don’t even know how I basically missed this one um I mean I do know but I at the time this was
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um in New York where the trainings were happening where any this is before the shortage of men
41:01
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right shortage of women um anyone could walk in at any time and the place they were doing it from in New
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York also had windows in the room and there were reports of like during the
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practice when the strangers were doing their own practice on each other I just met creepy dudes would walk in the room and just like walk around
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and so it was like oh hell no oh hell no so that’s her name down in Texas she’s
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amazing she’s a good an amazing human being yeah she’s so amazing did you know they’re they’re pregnant again well that’s so great that you know her
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yeah she’s really I know I don’t like top five humans in the in the world ah I can’t wait yeah yeah that’s cool and you
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that’s that’s why she was and I use it a little sarcastically but the darling because she is so amazing right I kept
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telling her from the very beginning before I knew any of this I was like you should be getting paid you you should ask for pay not knowing the whole thing so anyways
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um I was like the only way I would ever do this is if it was in my house and you
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trained us so one of the times she came up for training she stayed with us and she gave us a private thing well I was
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actually married well I became married to this guy a narcissist so um you know he kind of imploded that
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42 minutes, 28 seconds
practice and whatever um then when I was in um La for three years
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um it was it was still continued to be like so close to me I was not involved but
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all the people that I was close to yeah this was like towards the end but they were
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it was it’s a typical story that like their whole Community was in it if they left they would be shunned so they couldn’t get out all of that stuff
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and um so because of that you know when the well I just discovered the podcast in the last like three months maybe the BBC
43:09
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podcast listen to that whole thing um and then watch the Netflix thing um so I don’t I don’t need you to say
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43 minutes, 17 seconds
anything about that I think the intentions of one taste were very mixed
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43 minutes, 25 seconds
if you would ask me in 2004 or 2007 2008 2009 I’d be like no we want to change the world and Empower women and
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you know I really bought I bought it and sold it and even though I was bypassing my boundaries left and right and you know
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incurring that PTSD I still believed in the concepts yeah yeah there’s this beautiful dream that Nicola sold
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and here I am you know I left in 2014 and here I am you know almost eight years removed and that’s I’m more confused now than I
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43 minutes, 59 seconds
was when I left in terms of what were the true motivations and I just want to say thank you for saying that it’s the most difficult
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place to be in but in my opinion the most beautiful because it’s [ __ ] real yeah go ahead yeah and then I watched the documentary you
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know which I thought was the most honest I didn’t like the BBC I thought I was very skewed um but the documentary was balanced with a
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goal you know etc etc and then you know afterwards talking to uh Morgan’s you
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know second wife best friend bestie uh and just you know continue to to pull through it really came back to like questions of motivations
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44 minutes, 41 seconds
you know watching the whole nxivm cult I don’t know if you put any energy I mean I’m almost all of them I’ve seen yeah you know putting watching stuff on
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44 minutes, 49 seconds
Nxivm cult and comparing it’s just been a lot of the question all along you know the Ross question is was it Nicole’s
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covert motivation to abuse people for her own or you know power her own you know game
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compared to that you know oh we’re doing this to serve the world so I get the anyone who walked into the field
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especially sensitive beings could feel both sides or the you know harmful side
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so I have just have a standard you know just statement that if any harm was caused by you by something I co-created you know I want to know I’m
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I’m sorry I’m sorry that you had that experience uh you know at the raw sense and to validate
45:36
45 minutes, 36 seconds
your feelings whatever they were as true because that’s the biggest crime one tasted was the gas light people
45:43
45 minutes, 43 seconds
especially victims they they were very powerful gaslighters and that’s the saddest part is that victims can get
45:51
45 minutes, 51 seconds
reality that what they went through was off I really feel like I can put this note
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pun intended to bed now seeing the survivors and seeing them dealing with it and and seeing them
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share and coming out with it has has just really healed me when you said like I’m
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46 minutes, 16 seconds
sorry you know like what I was actually feeling was like all the people that I know that were
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46 minutes, 23 seconds
affected deeply because I wasn’t directly I have a whole bunch of just vicarious trauma too so it’s
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46 minutes, 31 seconds
like those people that I still can’t be friends with but like
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46 minutes, 38 seconds
while I was friends with him not knowing I couldn’t do anything else I was hurting for them and
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46 minutes, 46 seconds
and in Conflict like basically judging them being like you’re in a cult get out I didn’t say those things right but I would encourage them to get out and it
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46 minutes, 54 seconds
was frustrating because om was keeping them from being the friends that I wanted them to be
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47 minutes, 2 seconds
yeah that makes sense so when you said I’m sorry I rushed that over to them and I’m just
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47 minutes, 11 seconds
hoping I’m not going to contact them but I’m hoping energetically they can feel that so yeah yeah this is
47:19
47 minutes, 19 seconds
this is so incredible this is you’re such a gift thank you thank you thank you my pleasure how to trust your intuition the podcast
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47 minutes, 27 seconds
is written produced and created by me your host Betsy LeFae, the best New York City psychic in New York. music provided by Ben tell me if you don’t want to be like
47:36
47 minutes, 36 seconds
that pilot that is 80 sure you’ll get to your next destination safely and you want to take the right class to learn
47:43
47 minutes, 43 seconds
the right language and guess what intuition is a language head over to how to trust
47:51
47 minutes, 51 seconds
yourintuition.com I hope this podcast has been helpful to you if it has please forward it to a
47:59
47 minutes, 59 seconds
friend who you think it could also make a difference for there’s something that you can do for me and everyone else who listens to this podcast as well
48:07
48 minutes, 7 seconds
if you hit subscribe you’ll never miss another episode it’ll also help the show get to other people and of course I know
48:14
48 minutes, 14 seconds
you’ve heard other podcasts hosts say this before but it’s totally true if you leave us a five-star rating and a review
48:21
48 minutes, 21 seconds
it helps other people like you discover this podcast we all need to learn to trust our
48:29
48 minutes, 29 seconds
intuition so hit subscribe give us a five star review and write a little blurb while
48:36
48 minutes, 36 seconds
you’re there your intuition will thank you